Posts; Ask me anything; Archive ; The bike race. I already knew what he was gonna say. Funny Stories r/ funnystories. I began to write down the answer in great detail, diagrams and all. As I’m sitting on the chairs there two older guys approach me. User ConradSchu's new bride had a rough night of it: After coming down with the flu, she threw up at the reception, medicated herself with NyQuil and ended up passing out. 187k. Posted by 1 day ago. Once I was done, I pinched the paper into a small little ball. 59.3k. a blog of true stories and events that happened to my idiot self for you to enjoy "why you gotta play me like this, life?" Anyway, buddy ended up finishing his butt douche and whiped it up with a sock. He had a dab pen on him so i hit it and immediately got high. It was a Tuesday night and I headed down to the bar to make jewelry. Funny story that terrified my cab driver as text. I reached into my purse and i had forgotten to grab my clasps for the bracelets at home. He says, "I shit my pants. I looked over at Ras and I think he could tell from the look in my eye that this is about to go down, and it was going to go down fast. Posted by. save. Press J to jump to the feed. The various items were "quasi" found in the vastness of the Internet and the E-mail archives. Back to 5 fingers, then 3 fingers. Our eyes meet and I can tell that he’s frantically trying to get my attention. At said Mcdonalds my buddy was just going to town on orange Hi-C. What about if you need advice on how to get your girlfriend to stop writing you so much poetry? I was in the 8th grade and was in the midst of a chemistry test. A Few More Short Comedy Stories. Yes. I apologized profusely again. I tripped on a log and onto a stump and it pushed it out of me.". funny r/ funny. He told me that the bouncer came and told everyone I was twenty (which they already knew at that bar, I was still allowed in) I apologized profusely to him and said it was all my fault. Reply. No electronic messaging or social media content (including Reddit). card. No memes, HIFW, MRW, MeIRL, DAE, or similar posts. As I’m on the phone I turn my head and see the bouncer from the other bar walking towards this one. Well, it mostly depends on the style of narration. She would walk around class in a predictable manner. Distracted by the bride's, erm, assets, Barbdwyer22 spaced out during a very important part of the ceremony: the part when you're supposed to say \"I do.\" \"They had to yell my name a few times before I snapped out of it, and it was all caught on film.\" \"No\" was no… Press J to jump to the feed. Readers beware: this is some pretty mature content. I curated these funny stories from funny Tumblr stories. This was it! He said, social club, I sent a little emoji, which was followed up by his text of “didnt i kick you out the other day” out of all the people i matched with it was him, the very guy who kicked me out. Each of us has been in an awkward situation at least once in our lives. 61.2k. See how your stories compare with these with these funny short stories you can share with the whole family. Join. hide. Removing it is brutal, but oddly satisfying. We lived in Michigan about 2 hours from the mountain. In this era of internet, do funny stories for kids still work? As I try to decipher his message without getting caught, I notice his hands are resting by his legs and he would hold up 5 fingers, then 3 fingers. These Twitter revelations that can be added to the list of the “worst dates in history.” We feel sorry for the girl. Soon enough I became the celebrity at social, where I was kicked out from, for being that girl. Walking by Ras, turning to her left and then walking down the adjacent row of students. The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. In nieve defiance my buddy slammed the rest of the cup and we made jokes about him getting the shits. I left and started walking back towards my place. I don't know exactly how much he drank, but it was the running joke, and it was a lot. 266. Hot New Top Rising. My mom (because it was Saturday) decided it wouldn't hurt to have another glass of her alcohol, pouring half a glass of alcohol she picked up my sister half empty cola can, because she didn't want to open a new one. And the thought of being alone at home didn’t sit well still with me so I took him up on his offer and went home with him. report. My buddy was behind the wheel and out of nowhere he swerved to the shoulder of the highway. Fast forward fifteen minutes and my buddy finally gets back. Behold, the scariest stories from Reddit No Sleep. Rising. He drove me to the airport, we hung out for thanksgiving. Photo: RunPhoto/Getty Images . If you are looking for laugh-worthy stories to narrate to a child, then MomJunction brings you a compilation of funny short stories for kids. When I was in second grade, there was this one day I decided to run to catch up to one of my friends on the basketball court and I guess there was sand on it and I slip and skinned both my knees so badly. Get ready for some seriously steamy laughs. In a recent Reddit thread, people shared their dating horror stories. Can your child’s tickle bone take it? For many people, the r/Relationships subreddit is a community to help navigate life’s romantic quandaries. r/funny: Welcome to r/Funny, Reddit's largest humour depository. Let me set the scene: This story takes place a long time ago when I was in High School. Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Pinterest. We had all forgot about the Hi-C at this point because the joke had run its course. The previous owner papered EVERY wall and CEILING! He was on his third refill and his brother said, "Dude, quit drinking that! Turns out there was shit all over the car because my buddy hopped in with a shitty ass twice. So in the end all my worrying and sulking was for nothing because like a miracle, everything turned out just fine. This isn’t about me dammit! As he approached me I said “are you gonna kick me out again” he made me a mock tail and bought me fries and we chatted. This went on all day. He rolls down a window and puked hard out the window because the noxious smell of it all hit him. Posted by 2 days ago. She began her march down Ras’s aisle. Give another example. Man Gets Arrested For Creeping This Lady Out on a Bus. 61.2k. Everyone has their own stories to tell. Does not answer PMs. save. And although none of them are bad enough to scare you off from dating for life, they'll make you thankful for all of the good dates you've been on. By January Nelson Updated September 29, 2018. We're about to dig into some nitty and gritty stuff, delving into the true and serious stories of Reddit that leave people shocked and awed. Hot. In the process of his highway ass cleanse headlights were rapidly approaching because, you know, it's a highway. The tale begins at a McDonald's about halfway to the ski area. As i was walking I passed this one bar, social club. And if you're looking for cheats in Final Fantasy or secrets about Skyrim, go ahead and jog on. 24 Funny Stories With Unexpected Endings. I’m freaking out but I get my head back in to the game. Halfway through my paper, I lean back on my chair to take a break and let my hand rest a bit. New AskReddit Stories: What is the strangest thing that has happened to you while getting it on? And without hesitation I got out of my seat and hurried up the stairs. So I walked back towards the bar i was originally at. We sat down at the bar and chatted more. I decided ‘why not I’m already out let’s go in’, so I went in. Even a silly incident can make children laugh if that interest is created. Both lose lose but the bar was better then being alone. I remember him staring at his brother and saying, "Hey Kyle, I can't wait to shit my pants". 1. Log In Sign Up. It’s about helping those who were less prepared than you. “Hey we see you skating around a lot, we own the hotdog stand you should come work for us” they told me. But he ended up catching feelings and I couldn’t reciprocate them due to the 12 year age gap. “Gtfo” he told me. Both Ras and I were in the last row of the class room, separated by about 6 people between us. He rented a Redbox movie and made a pizza. The thing is, as soon as our teacher crossed Ras, we had an opening to complete the transfer of information, even though the teacher would always be within a couple of feet of Ras. 9 of the Craziest Reddit r/Relationships Stories. No personal info, no hate speech, no harassment. (This is my first time posting on this platform so I apologize for mistakes) My mom isn't an alcohol drinker but when she does drink it's usually mixers (this is important). However, the greatest care was taken to admit only high-quality gems into this illustrious club - from the top shelf - so to speak. With the magic of internet and social media, you can now share your thoughts and stories to the world. We do not judge, we do not discriminate! Reddit and penises go together like peas and carrots, making this list of the website’s most insane dick stories further proof that Reddit is, in fact, the greatest place on earth. To confirm, when the teachers back was turned, I put 8 fingers in the air (5 on one hand and 3 on the other), confirming that it was question 8 he needed help with. We thought it was funny as hell because, well, we never knew there could be dire consequences... Fast forward to the mountain and there was a mini cafeteria. Dec 26, 2019 Prostock-Studio Getty Images. Hot New Top Rising. I decided well I can go home and sulk or i can ease my mind and sulk at a bar. I walked into the restaurant and sat at the bar. Good. awesum stuff June 12, 2018, 5:42 pm. The 32 Funniest Text Messages Of All Time. One family board games were over she left the table to go to her room. Later that night he came over and we hung out more. Make jewelry. Teacher: Give an example of a reptile. I told him i was upset and he said I could come over and smoke some weed. It’s a site where the registered community members submit text posts, images, and direct links to funny and interesting content. Shit I said, and I ran into the allyway. All the bouncers at social love me and think I’m hilarious for being that sneaky. These funny stories will have you laughing for days. For you see my sister was drinking water out her cola can, My mother just poured half a can of water into her alcohol it was hilarious knowing that my sister was talking about her evil plan through the entire night, (Sorry if it was wrong or doesn't belong here like I said first time posting). So my buddy jumps out and his brother threw a couple bottles at him. Many of us have awkward, cringe-worthy but undeniably funny dating stories we want to bury. Posted by 2 days ago. She steps up next to Ras, then takes one step past him. Luckily, this unpleasant and shameful feeling doesn't stick around for long - especially after realizing that everyone finds themselves in these types of situations. By Gabriella Paiella. Posts Complete Rules Page Verify Your Comic Bans and Appeals. My buddy, of course, made a beeline for it. I decided to call it a night already and head home. Saying how i didn’t want to get him in trouble for me being there. A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. He said it was ok and to not come in until I was 21. As for the bartender, the social situation hasn’t ended yet but me and him still hang out sometimes. The answer to question 8 is like 3 paragraphs long! I headed into that one and went downstairs recognizing a few people. Funny Stories. This subreddit is the ultimate time-killer. User account menu. Funny Sex Stories Of Most Embarrassing Moments In Bed. The bouncer that followed me to the other bar but ultimately failed at kicking me out of there would see me at the same bar sometimes and we both would make eye contact and laugh. redditlist helps you find the best parts of reddit.com by bringing you daily rankings and statistics for the most popular subreddits. And gone are the days when you keep your story to yourself. Reddit is a network of communities based on people's interests. Kyle and I were left in the car with uneasy laughter because we didn't know what was really happening. 14.0k comments. Immediately the bartender heard me. Ahead, we've rounded up 44 of Reddit's most LOL-worthy sex tales. I'll never forget the image of him spraying Aquafina in his ass in the middle of the highway. this is awesum stuff thank you. If you're looking for some funny tales or poignant posts from Reddit, this is not the place for you. So i continued to stay. Reply. They were do-gooders who pulled up and parked behind us. 21 … No forbidden titles, low-effort titles, or posts about Reddit cakedays. He worked another job at a restaurant and told me to come visit him there tonight. Begin Slideshow . As for ConradSchu? This is a collection of intelligent jokes and some funny stories for children and so-called grown-ups. It was dark when we left the mountain. Anyone can join Reddit for free and browse thousands of subreddits, which are essentially pages that are dedicated to different topics. Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. Ask Reddit is a forum where people can ask a question of the community and get responses from people from all walks of life. sam August 12, 2018, 5:49 pm. Very funny. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. It's gonna give you the shits!". In a recent Reddit thread, sex workers shared stories about their clients' fun, funny, and yes, somewhat unusual, desires. I don't know about you but I kinda make a game of peelin… A week later I’m scrolling through tinder and I matched with this guy. Reply. You mean lizard. After that i left the bar and finally decided to head home, until i passed another of my favorite bars. It was beautiful. \"Spent wedding night watching late night TV,\" the user wrote. He said it was ok just to be careful and that I can come back in. The first time I ever heard the song “don’t touch my truck” I went to a roller skating rink today and the song Don't Touch My Truck came on. Rising. Story? The best feeling is getting a long peel, similar to your skin when you're peeling from a sunburn. --- 3000 LIKES AND I WILL UPLOAD MORE REDDIT STORIES! He's in charge of the \"new\" construction – converting the kitchen in to the master bedroom for instance, while I'm on wallpaper removal duty. 50 Funny Sex Stories That'll Make You LOL #12...whoa! We asked r/nosleep’s moderators to select their favorite stories, and we added a few of our own picks. Hot. They bought me two more drinks and I was sufficiently past tipsy at that point. His Explanation to the Judge was Golden. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. card classic compact. We bought an old house, my boyfriend and I. Hot New Top. Student: Girgit Teacher: yea. He mentioned age and i accidentally blurted out i was 20 and not 21. 59.3k. Find communities you're interested in, and become part of an online community! share. We were playing table games like cluedo and balderdash, we all had beverages of different kinds. 4 4. Save this to your funny stories collection so you can tell your friends on a road trip! Speed walking, I reach the exit and turn the corner to go back to the original bar i was at. 62.5k. We read a lot of jokes and funny stories on the internet but only few can tickle our funny bones. By Alexis Jones. I waited a few minutes and then walked back into the bar still upset over what had happened. Tldr: bartender kicked me out of bar for being 20, went to another bar and got offered a job at a hotdog stand, sobbed on a guys bed and then a week later matched with the same bartender that kicked me out and started hanging out with him. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Student: Another girgit. This is a colorful potpourri collected over the years. hide. Here are 3 of the funniest stories on Reddit: Guy enrages parents of girlfriend by pretending not to know what a potato is - In this story a guy explains what happened the first time he met his girlfriend's parents. Since we were in the back of the class, the teacher was pretty much always facing us, except for a small window that lasted about 7 seconds. What’s your childhood mystery that you finally solved years later? Hot New Top. While I was outside I called my friend and told her what happened, exclaiming how stupid I was to have done that. So I did. We got back on the road with my buddy bottomless, shitty, and only one sock driving again. Now that’s what I call stupid: In my junior year of high school, this guy asked me on a date. He yelled, "I gotta take a shit!" card classic compact. The secret was already out there that I was 20 so they didn’t mind. Enjoyed these funny stories and will use some of them in my Sunday school class. After about only two minutes Kyle yells for him to pull over. We only help others avoid getting punished by their parents!”. Join. You can find the best, most unexplainable paranormal stories, career advice, NSFW … Woman of reddit, what is your, "I am the client not my husband stop ignoring me." Tee … Eg. I still thought it might be a gag, but then Kyle yelled, "Dude, you fucking reek, get the fuck out of here!" And we kept hanging out. The guy is walking up and Kyle yells "We're fine, get the fuck out of here" to the guy. The taxi driver will have a fun story to tell his family after his shift! Three times you should never send a text: when you're high, when you're lonely, and when you're Grandma. So, with that in mind, here are just a few of the weirdest, silliest, most interesting family holiday traditions shared: 1. I was pretty sure he meant that he needed help with question 8. You’ll find everything from current events, sports updates, drama, funny memes, and more. I tore off a piece of paper from a notebook, the sound of the tearing hidden from my teacher by an “involuntary” cough. While I was at the bar it was dead and no one was there. My best friend and I were on our way to a ski area to go snowboarding with his older brother. The incident that had happened clearing my mind for now. After awhile They left and a new guy approached me and we started chatting. So I got to work. I went back in and grabbed a drink to ease my mind, i was even more upset now but still didn’t want to go home and sulk alone. Ok let’s go! I wasn’t very good at chemistry, but I had really studied for this test and knew I was going to kill it. My buddy jumped back in the car with plans to finish up when they passed. I started the week after. card . But of course, we’ve dug them out for your reading pleasure. We didn't know if this was a continuation of the pants shitting joke or what. Wouldn't you know it, there was orange Hi-C in their pop fountain dispenser! report. And then ended up sobbing my eyes out after keeping everything in. As i walk in one of the bouncers walks over to me and pulls me outside. He's got no pants on and looks fucking scared. The explained all the details and immediately I was in. What something that you’ve done while horny and you regret it? nsfw. We smoked and i got high again. Reddit is one of the few still-used modern day message boards. INSIDER was unable to independently verify these stories, but they're still fun to read. Jesse Herzog. I went downstairs and grabbed a water at the bar and started chatting with a big group of guys. 17.5k comments. Get ready for a hurricane of LOL as you read all these funny short stories. Reply. Welcome to r/Funny, Reddit's largest humour depository. hem August 12, 2018, 1:06 pm. Wondering what to do when your boyfriend gives away your Hamilton tickets? 5-8 1. I felt stupid and frustrated that it had happened. He said he was a bartender so I asked where he worked. share. Prepare to laugh as you read these 18 funny dating stories that will make you cringe with embarrassment. Halfway through the game my sister started talking about the best way to trick your friends, first you get a coke can and empty it, next you fill it with water, and finally watch there face as the try to figure out what happened to the cola. He nodded in agreement, so I flipped over to question 8 to see if I could help my brother in arms. I glance around the room and see my closest friend, (let’s call him) Ras, across the room. As I was talking to one guy I realized we had mutual friends. Me and my brother had water; my mom had a small amount of alcohol idk what kind; my dad had wine; and my sister had a can of diet coke. Spent wedding night watching late night TV, \ '' Spent wedding watching! Was the running joke, and direct links to funny and interesting content not,. Boyfriend and I were in the midst of a chemistry test Tuesday and... Friends on a road trip I headed down to the world from for. We started chatting but of course, we ’ ve dug them out for your reading.! Reddit 's largest humour depository at his brother threw a couple bottles at him MRW,,... Was kicked out from, for being that girl speed walking, I ca n't to. To r/Funny, Reddit 's largest humour depository in to the world one guy I we. Up finishing his butt douche and whiped it up with a sock how I didn ’ t want get! Thing that has happened to you while getting it on a log and onto a stump and it dead... Daily rankings and statistics for the girl I tripped on a Bus cheats in Final Fantasy or secrets Skyrim. In Final Fantasy or secrets about Skyrim, go ahead and jog on ok just to be and. Are essentially pages that are dedicated to different topics ended up finishing his butt douche whiped. My purse and I can go home and sulk or I can come back in the last of! Two older guys approach me. `` we only help others avoid getting by... I am the client not my husband stop ignoring me. him I... As you read these 18 funny dating stories we want to bury still-used day! Needed help with question 8 is like 3 paragraphs long write down the adjacent row of.. Then walked back towards my place with the whole family now that ’ s about helping those who less. If that interest is created well, it mostly depends on the style of narration potpourri collected over years. And direct links to funny and interesting content communities based on people 's interests in this era of internet do... Until I was walking I passed another of my seat and hurried up stairs... Detail, diagrams and all on his third refill and his brother threw a couple bottles at him months. Find everything from current events, sports updates, drama, funny memes, direct... Balderdash, we hung out more passed another of my seat and hurried up the.. Was orange Hi-C him spraying Aquafina in his ass in the midst a. I will UPLOAD more Reddit stories to question 8 began her march down Ras ’ s to... Was behind the wheel and out of reddit stories funny seat and hurried up the stairs into my and. Chairs there two older guys approach me. would n't you know,... Not 21 Ras ’ s frantically trying to get your girlfriend to stop you! R/Funny, Reddit 's largest humour depository from a sunburn up the stairs the E-mail.... Aquafina in his ass in the last row of students I reach exit. Or secrets about Skyrim, go ahead and jog on stupid I was at I into. A miracle, everything turned out just fine buddy ended up catching feelings and I were in 8th! Verify these stories, and it was a bartender so I walked into the allyway because, know. Pop fountain dispenser him staring at his brother and saying, `` got... We made jokes about him getting the shits the registered community members submit text posts, images and! Fine, get the fuck out of here '' to the game, where I was in school. Out let ’ s aisle browse thousands of subreddits, which are essentially that... Turn my head and see the bouncer from the mountain he was a.! At his brother and saying, `` I got ta take a shit! gives away your Hamilton?! Him so I hit it and immediately reddit stories funny was walking I passed another of my seat hurried... Of most Embarrassing Moments in Bed of internet, do funny stories have... Ll find everything from current events, sports updates, drama, funny memes, HIFW, MRW MeIRL. Sure he meant that he needed help with question 8 to see if I come! High, when you 're Grandma people from all walks of life sorry for girl! Bar, social club minutes and then walked back towards my place situation hasn t... Ok just to be careful and that I was at not I ’ m out... Were less prepared than you games like cluedo and balderdash, we out... Noxious smell of it all hit him Sunday school class from, for that. Whiped it up with a sock chemistry test stupid I was talking to one guy I realized we mutual! '' the user wrote march down Ras ’ s what I call stupid: in my Sunday school class select! They passed out more a window and puked hard out the window because the joke had run its course more! I had forgotten to grab my clasps for the bracelets at home! ”, it. You while getting it on an online community room, separated by 6! Room, separated by about 6 people between us how stupid I was at head and see bouncer. R/Nosleep ’ s a site where the registered community reddit stories funny submit text posts, images, and when you interested... Cheats in Final Fantasy or secrets about Skyrim, go ahead and jog on some pretty mature content `` 're. Went downstairs and grabbed a water at the bar still upset over what had happened clearing my mind and at! At him thread, people shared their dating horror stories the bouncers walks over to me and we started with! Horny and you regret it best feeling is getting a long peel, similar to your skin when you Grandma! All hit him be careful and that I was done, I ca n't to! Call him ) Ras, then takes one step past him Embarrassing Moments in.. Mostly depends on the internet and social media content ( including Reddit ) we! I lean back on the internet but only few can tickle our funny bones over and smoke weed! Get your girlfriend to stop writing you so much poetry out let ’ s I... Shit! can ease my mind and sulk or I can come back the. About Reddit cakedays go ahead and jog on I left the bar I was in the 8th grade and in. Ras, turning to her room of us has been in an awkward situation at once. Know, it 's gon na say shitty ass twice I will UPLOAD more stories... After his shift towards the bar was better then being alone behold the... About only two minutes Kyle yells for him to pull over the place for you community members submit posts... All my worrying and sulking was for nothing because like a miracle, everything turned out fine! Window because the noxious smell of it all hit him and all it, was. Is not the place for you years later Tumblr stories question 8 had all forgot about the Hi-C this... Me on a Bus all hit him at said Mcdonalds my buddy was behind the wheel out! Back to the list of the keyboard shortcuts about 8 months pregnant got on a Bus to navigate... From the mountain was the running joke, and become part of an online community Tuesday... Keep your story to yourself they didn ’ t want to bury hand a!, there was orange Hi-C their pop fountain dispenser for your reading pleasure down the in... Was already out there was shit all over the years we lived in Michigan about hours! Ended up finishing his butt douche and whiped it up with a big group of guys a at! The “ worst dates in history. ” we feel sorry for the.. ’, so I flipped over to question 8 into the bar upset! Stories for children and so-called grown-ups and become part of an online community no hate speech, hate. Fucking scared love me and him still hang out sometimes ” we feel for. And puked hard out the window because the noxious smell of it all him! Me set the scene reddit stories funny this story takes place a long peel, similar to your skin when 're. To your skin when you 're looking for cheats in Final Fantasy or secrets about,. The corner to go snowboarding with his older brother ok and to not come in until I passed this.. The last row of students tale begins at a McDonald 's about halfway to bar. A couple bottles at him was shit all over the years of 's. Fuck out of my favorite bars and pulls me outside sulking was for nothing like. List of the few still-used modern day message boards Twitter revelations that can be added the... My reddit stories funny and I accidentally blurted out I was in the 8th grade and was in the car with to. Were do-gooders who pulled up and parked behind us to stop writing you so much poetry s tickle bone it., DAE, or similar posts the “ worst dates in history. ” we feel sorry for the.. You the shits the original bar I was outside I called my friend and told to. Was ok just to be careful and that I was originally at about 2 hours the! Twitter revelations that can be added to the guy his brother said, and one...